Where am I supposed to live now? Ernie is still butthurt about some of the things I’ve been doing behind his back, Cookie Monster is still being a jerk because I stole one little cookie from him, and none of the other Sesame Street characters will let me stay with them either.

What should I do?

What a rotten bastard! Go nail him in his own coffin, that will fix him! As for Ernie, have a talk with him, maybe he’ll forgive you. Ah, the Cookie Monster. Buy him a couple packages of Oreos and apologize to him, that should make him forgive you. As for the other folks on Sesame Street, I don’t know what to tell you. And if all else fails, you can probably go stay with Kermit The Frog.